Lately finding something to smile about has been very difficult. Each day I am made aware of how weak and fatigued Steve is becoming. Each day I am confronted with the very real possibility that the man I love more than life itself, may not live. And each day I try to find something worth smiling about. Each day I ask God for a Miracle and that He would heal Steve. And each day we ( our family) face new challenges with his illness.
God doesn't answer my prayers the way I'd like them answered. However, each day He provides fellowship and friendship with neighbors such as Bud and Carolye who drove me to a fabric shop in Eugene to look for shower curtain material and then to Costco!! Whoopee--it was one of the first days that I have had totally to myself in over 3 1/2 months!! Craig, Steve's brother, was available to spend the day with Steve, watching hunting videos. (Not my idea of a good time, but I suppose shopping for fabric, wasn't one of theirs either!!)
God has allowed us to hear from distant friends. John Luik, one of Steve's college friends emailed him after not corresponding in years. My dear friends, Jim and Pat Hair, from Chicago sent me a long newsy letter. Good friends, Rick and Linda Hartwig called from Florida and we were able to talk for some time. All wonderful friends who are standing in the gap for the Lord. The Lord reassures us daily that He is present and still on the throne by surrounding us with good friends that we have made through the years. Each day we hear from wonderful friends and co-workers who send their love and best wishes for good health.
Steve's family came over on Sunday to do some "manual labor" for me. Small tasks and repairs that needed doing and they did it with a smile and a hug. All of them wanting to help in anyway while Steve is not able to do the many things he is used to doing.
This Friday, April 4th, is the Blood drive at the ESD and all of the slots are nearly filled. How wonderful that so many are volunteering to help in this very real and tangible way to help others. Then this Saturday, the ESD is holding a Garage Sale in the ESD parking lot. So if you have any extra junk you'd like to get rid of--please contact Rita Snyder at the ESD ( phone # is listed on the blog site) and she'll give you all the information about the Garage Sale. All proceeds will be for Steve and the expenses surrounding his chemo and travel back and forth to Portland.
This Saturday is also Steve's 58th b-day--so if you have time, you might want to send Steve a card or email him and wishing him a happy birthday. We praise the Lord daily for allowing us to spend another day together. Each day is very precious and I'm trying to think of a creative way to celebrate Steve's birthday. I cannot be reassured that his health would allow us to have friends over to celebrate with us--I pray that happens soon!!
He has had some good conversations with friends who have stopped by to visit and we are hoping that his health continues to be good, so others can stop by to visit with him. He fatigues easily, but really enjoys talking to everyone who has been over. He's been watching the Basketball play-offs on TV --so we girls have to be quiet while that's on tv.
Please remember us in your prayers. This is very difficult........... and each day I pray to the Lord, "If you won't heal him, please don't let Steve suffer!" His pain is currently under control by the epidural pain pump and we are so thankful for that.
He is starting to get headaches and I'm a little concerned about that.
Thank you dear friends & family---We couldn't do this without ALL of your love and support!! It really means so much to hear from you by dropping by for a visit, phone call, mail or email--each act is an assurance that God still cares for us during this very difficult time.
good nite,
mj and Steve
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Hope.................Or the Loss of..................
Haven't written since my blog posting Easter night. In that blog I noted that we had planned on going to Portland for an appt. with Dr. Nichols and later in the day attend a PERS meeting for Steve's Early Retirement.
Needless to say, we made neither.
As we were attempting to get out the door, Steve's blood pressure plummeted so severely that I knew I needed to seek professional help immediately. So called 911 and the paramedics took him to Mercy Hospital/Roseburg. They got him stablized and released us at 1:00 p.m.
So we came home and I am left with all kinds of thoughts, doubts. What do I do next? He is so very weak. His blood pressure is all over the place--high, low. He can't walk, and he has so much faith that he'll return to Portland to continue chemo treatments, once he feels better. What do I do? Where do I go for help? Help Lord!!
After more than 3 days without sleep, due to his pain level. He is up each peeing and being in pain..........so therefore I am up all night as well.
I called Dr. Ottenheimer on Tuesday AM to get some direction and was told that no matter which hospital we took Steve to--they would all do the same thing...........keep him comfortable. He isn't strong enough for more chemo and couldn't stand it! The illness is progressing too quickly.
And we can keep him comfortable from home by having Mercy Home Health/Hospice come to our home.
So today (Wednesday 3/26) Sally came with her Hospice Hat on and assessed Steve's condition. His pain and his needing narcotic pain meds for his epidural pain pump puts him in the hospice plan. Dr. Ottenheimer does NOT want Steve give up Hope--however unless God performs a Miracle, Hospice will be with us until the end. Dr. Ottenheimer told me to tell Steve, "if a Miracle happens and you start feeliing better and you have the strength to continue chemo in Portland, we'll pull the Hospice team and you can go forth..............never give up Hope!! However, the Dr's know that the cancer is winning--not us! But we Smith's continue believing that God is the God of the 11th Hour and can heal Steve. And if it gives Steve the will to strive and get better--I am NOT about to dash that thought!!!
This is so hard and only going to get harder and much more difficult. This isn't the way Steve or I planned our retirement years. I don't know how to live without the man I've loved for over 31 years. Where do I go, what do I do????????? And without Steve holding my hand..........I fear I don't want to go on............
Small evidences of miracles.............The PERS folks told him that since I couldn't attend our missed meeting on Monday--the only date they had left was May 7th--I told them "my husband may not be alive on May 7th!" And after much conversation, Andy (the PERS) guy suggested we could hold a phone interview right then and there. We went through each PERS form and he even emailed me the ones I was missing. So today I mailed all of the paperwork in. God knew I needed that paperwork in to start Steve's Early retirement. And hopefully Steve will live long enough so that I don't miss out on his retirement pension checks. There is a time element that if Steve dies sometime before his retirement date, I miss out a large portion. So this is also in the Lord's Hands!!
Steve's folks found that they have 2 extra burial plots in Myrtle Creek available. Is that a coincidence? I elect to think not. Small miracles. Not the big ones, I truly wish for, but small ones each day to let me know that God is still on the Throne and caring for us.
SO many friends calling, coming to visit, sending cards, emails. All wanting to help, lend a hand, be a shoulder. Thank you!! Without you I couldn't go on.............trying to care for Steve 24/7.
Steve is very weak. Many of you are wanting to visit. I really don't know what to tell you. He is too weak to leave our home. He couldn't attend Faith's 1st birthday (Faith is our first and only grandchild). And grandpa is one doting grandfather NOT to miss a birthday of one so precious!! However, he wasn't strong enough to even leave
our home. So please be patient with us. I know you want to see him, so please call ahead to see if he is strong enough to receive visitors. Or even phone calls, alot of times he'll say "I'm too tired to even talk."
Hope.............we all elect to hang on to Hope!! Without it we are lost...............so we elect to continue hoping for a Miracle. And if we can't receive the Miracle we wish for.................My prayer is "Please Lord, don't let Steve suffer!! He is too precious a man to suffer. Please Lord!! "
good night,
mj and Steve
Needless to say, we made neither.
As we were attempting to get out the door, Steve's blood pressure plummeted so severely that I knew I needed to seek professional help immediately. So called 911 and the paramedics took him to Mercy Hospital/Roseburg. They got him stablized and released us at 1:00 p.m.
So we came home and I am left with all kinds of thoughts, doubts. What do I do next? He is so very weak. His blood pressure is all over the place--high, low. He can't walk, and he has so much faith that he'll return to Portland to continue chemo treatments, once he feels better. What do I do? Where do I go for help? Help Lord!!
After more than 3 days without sleep, due to his pain level. He is up each peeing and being in pain..........so therefore I am up all night as well.
I called Dr. Ottenheimer on Tuesday AM to get some direction and was told that no matter which hospital we took Steve to--they would all do the same thing...........keep him comfortable. He isn't strong enough for more chemo and couldn't stand it! The illness is progressing too quickly.
And we can keep him comfortable from home by having Mercy Home Health/Hospice come to our home.
So today (Wednesday 3/26) Sally came with her Hospice Hat on and assessed Steve's condition. His pain and his needing narcotic pain meds for his epidural pain pump puts him in the hospice plan. Dr. Ottenheimer does NOT want Steve give up Hope--however unless God performs a Miracle, Hospice will be with us until the end. Dr. Ottenheimer told me to tell Steve, "if a Miracle happens and you start feeliing better and you have the strength to continue chemo in Portland, we'll pull the Hospice team and you can go forth..............never give up Hope!! However, the Dr's know that the cancer is winning--not us! But we Smith's continue believing that God is the God of the 11th Hour and can heal Steve. And if it gives Steve the will to strive and get better--I am NOT about to dash that thought!!!
This is so hard and only going to get harder and much more difficult. This isn't the way Steve or I planned our retirement years. I don't know how to live without the man I've loved for over 31 years. Where do I go, what do I do????????? And without Steve holding my hand..........I fear I don't want to go on............
Small evidences of miracles.............The PERS folks told him that since I couldn't attend our missed meeting on Monday--the only date they had left was May 7th--I told them "my husband may not be alive on May 7th!" And after much conversation, Andy (the PERS) guy suggested we could hold a phone interview right then and there. We went through each PERS form and he even emailed me the ones I was missing. So today I mailed all of the paperwork in. God knew I needed that paperwork in to start Steve's Early retirement. And hopefully Steve will live long enough so that I don't miss out on his retirement pension checks. There is a time element that if Steve dies sometime before his retirement date, I miss out a large portion. So this is also in the Lord's Hands!!
Steve's folks found that they have 2 extra burial plots in Myrtle Creek available. Is that a coincidence? I elect to think not. Small miracles. Not the big ones, I truly wish for, but small ones each day to let me know that God is still on the Throne and caring for us.
SO many friends calling, coming to visit, sending cards, emails. All wanting to help, lend a hand, be a shoulder. Thank you!! Without you I couldn't go on.............trying to care for Steve 24/7.
Steve is very weak. Many of you are wanting to visit. I really don't know what to tell you. He is too weak to leave our home. He couldn't attend Faith's 1st birthday (Faith is our first and only grandchild). And grandpa is one doting grandfather NOT to miss a birthday of one so precious!! However, he wasn't strong enough to even leave
our home. So please be patient with us. I know you want to see him, so please call ahead to see if he is strong enough to receive visitors. Or even phone calls, alot of times he'll say "I'm too tired to even talk."
Hope.............we all elect to hang on to Hope!! Without it we are lost...............so we elect to continue hoping for a Miracle. And if we can't receive the Miracle we wish for.................My prayer is "Please Lord, don't let Steve suffer!! He is too precious a man to suffer. Please Lord!! "
good night,
mj and Steve
L.o.v.e
1 Corinthians 13:4 tells us that love is patient and kind, never jealous and most importantly selfless.
I have had the privlege of having parents who have been married for over thirty years and grandparents who have been together for over sixty years.
Over the past several weeks, it has become increasingly evident that true love is indeed selfless.
Such love doesn't mind helping you bath, dress or use the restroom when you find yourself too weak to do so.
It never tires of sleeping on the couch night after night so that they might hear you in the middle of the night if you might wake and need something.
Such selfless love cuddles with you in your hospital bed when you are no longer able to endure going out to a cinema to a see a film.
This love calls you to ask if your youngest child recieved a birthday cake this year and asks you to go pick one for them, so that all of you can celebrate together. Such love then apologizes to said child for having to celebrate their birthday in a hospital/hotel room.
Lastly, selfless love would rather themselves suffer than bear to watch you suffer. I am convinced God created us to love each other, so that we can attempt to comprehend the kind of selfless love He has for us.
This is the only sense I can make out of my parents situation. I have been blessed to have been raised in a house where true selfless love resides.
--- Lynsey
I have had the privlege of having parents who have been married for over thirty years and grandparents who have been together for over sixty years.
Over the past several weeks, it has become increasingly evident that true love is indeed selfless.
Such love doesn't mind helping you bath, dress or use the restroom when you find yourself too weak to do so.
It never tires of sleeping on the couch night after night so that they might hear you in the middle of the night if you might wake and need something.
Such selfless love cuddles with you in your hospital bed when you are no longer able to endure going out to a cinema to a see a film.
This love calls you to ask if your youngest child recieved a birthday cake this year and asks you to go pick one for them, so that all of you can celebrate together. Such love then apologizes to said child for having to celebrate their birthday in a hospital/hotel room.
Lastly, selfless love would rather themselves suffer than bear to watch you suffer. I am convinced God created us to love each other, so that we can attempt to comprehend the kind of selfless love He has for us.
This is the only sense I can make out of my parents situation. I have been blessed to have been raised in a house where true selfless love resides.
--- Lynsey
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Friends--where would we be without them?
It's been awhile since I last posted our doings--Steve was in the hospital in Mercy/Roseburg until Thursday afternoon when he was finally released. While in the hospital, he was so blessed to have had so many friends stop by to visit with him.
Too many to name, and I'd probably forget someone.
One night, Shaun Hill, asked several of his friends to come to the hospital to sing & pray with Steve while he was in his hospital room. So Wed. night, Emily & Steve Pappas, and Tyler Thennes, with his guitar, came to sing and pray with Steve. It was so wonderful to see these young people surround Steve with their hearts and and voices in praise to our Great Physician Faither!! We were so proud to have these
sweet people in our midst! Thank you.
So many affirmations of love to our family while going during this turbulent uncertain time. One morning the pool guys from Preference Pool were cleaning our pool and carrying a large carton. I identified the box as being the size of a new diving board. I started crying and the guys saw him, and said to me, "Mrs. Smith, is the pool not as clean as you had expected? The neighbor's tree is carrying alot of flower blossoms and it's collecting in your pool, and we're trying to get as much out as we can." I said, "Oh No, the pool looks great--I'm just so overwhelmed by everyone's generosity--and now there's a new diving board. I'll NEVER be able to repay people for their generosity."
The guys from Preference Pool said to me, "Our boss Steve talked with the diving board distributor/vendor and we got a really good deal on the diving board, so it's a joint effort between the vendor, Steve, the Preference Pool owner, and Art Adams. So please believe us when we say, it was too good a deal to pass up."
So then I start crying all over again............I don't even know the diving board distributor/vendor!!!
Then we received in the mail a pair of beautiful slippers to replace the "boat sized slippers" that the hospital lost after last visit. Thank you so much Suzy and Tom for the beautiful slippers, they fit Steve's feet just fine. The swelling as reduced and his feet are only "partial boat sized" feet!!
The scrapbook fairy was identified to be Michelle Reber. Thank you Michelle for the scrapbook items, I can hardly wait to have the time to sit and scrapbook soon.
Thursday night at the ESD (Education Service District--where Steve works in Rsbg) had their monthly board meeting. Jon Hill, the Superintendent of the ESD, asked if Steve could be in attendance as the Board wanted to honor him for his service these past 16 years. Well, during the meeting, the Board and Jon honored Steve with his name being nominated for an award. If Steve should win, the Justus A. Prentice award--the final award will be given out in May in Bend. But the Board and Jon read a book full of accolades of Steve's service to Special Education and the children he has served over the many years. We were so lucky to have our good friend, Mike Rice, visiting from Boise. So he was able to come with us and be our photographer for this special event. Then we got a bunch of pictures of people hugging Steve and congratulating him. It was a very emotional evening, for a very deserving & wonderful man!!
We had hoped to attend Easter Services with the rest of our family today. However, the pain in Steve's hip is continuing to increase in severity. So he didn't sleep Saturday night due to the pain, and felt pretty puny Sunday morning. So we missed our first Easter service together in years. However we did get to visit with our families later in the day, as they stopped by for dessert and coffee late afternoon.
We are asking for prayer for tomorrow (Monday, March 24), as we travel to Portland for an appt. with Dr. Nichols. At this visit, we will hear first hand what the CT-Scan said and what his thoughts are regarding chemo or continued treatment. I am fearful (as we don't know if the chemo is as affective as we once had hoped.........we continue to pray for a miracle and really want to have God honored and praised with the healing of Steve!!) I hate to use the word "fearful"--but in my small human mind--I am scared. I see the pain that Steve is in and I see how he is shrinking in front of me!! He currently weighs 148 lbs. And his appetite is waning--and I try to feed him constantly!! I am trying to be optimistic and I'm trying to be brave--but it's so hard!! When the man I love is enduring all of this chemo and medicines, and pain pump and everything to try and beat this hideous disease. We covet your prayer so badly--as the enemy is constantly trying to make me afraid and doubt the Lord's abilities to heal!!
The Lord placed so many people and blessings in our paths this past week, and it was so encouraging to see people from our college days, our church friends, our neighbors, Steve's wonderful co-workers at the ESD and school districts, friends who have moved away from us and returned especially to visit with Steve and our wonderful family members. We can't journey down this hard road without all of you.
I received a wonderful gift from the class of 1967 The Dalles High School reunion committee. These wonderful folks thought of us and sent us a check to use for our expenses travelling back and forth to Portland. Several of them have battled cancer, or have loved ones battling cancer and came alongside of us in a very meaningful way. Thank you Sharon and Maja---what a thoughtful gift!! Thank you committee members--I hope that someday--someway I can pay it forward!!
Remember us tomorrow as we hear the news from Dr. Nichols and we're also going to the PERS folks to start Steve's Early Retirement process. Lynsey is going to help me
drive to Portland, so she can help with getting Steve in and out of the Blazer and into various wheelchairs. It'll help having two pairs of hands. As it will be a long and hard day in Portland.
Thank you for your continued prayers and we really feel each and other one of time.
Good night,
mj and Steve
Too many to name, and I'd probably forget someone.
One night, Shaun Hill, asked several of his friends to come to the hospital to sing & pray with Steve while he was in his hospital room. So Wed. night, Emily & Steve Pappas, and Tyler Thennes, with his guitar, came to sing and pray with Steve. It was so wonderful to see these young people surround Steve with their hearts and and voices in praise to our Great Physician Faither!! We were so proud to have these
sweet people in our midst! Thank you.
So many affirmations of love to our family while going during this turbulent uncertain time. One morning the pool guys from Preference Pool were cleaning our pool and carrying a large carton. I identified the box as being the size of a new diving board. I started crying and the guys saw him, and said to me, "Mrs. Smith, is the pool not as clean as you had expected? The neighbor's tree is carrying alot of flower blossoms and it's collecting in your pool, and we're trying to get as much out as we can." I said, "Oh No, the pool looks great--I'm just so overwhelmed by everyone's generosity--and now there's a new diving board. I'll NEVER be able to repay people for their generosity."
The guys from Preference Pool said to me, "Our boss Steve talked with the diving board distributor/vendor and we got a really good deal on the diving board, so it's a joint effort between the vendor, Steve, the Preference Pool owner, and Art Adams. So please believe us when we say, it was too good a deal to pass up."
So then I start crying all over again............I don't even know the diving board distributor/vendor!!!
Then we received in the mail a pair of beautiful slippers to replace the "boat sized slippers" that the hospital lost after last visit. Thank you so much Suzy and Tom for the beautiful slippers, they fit Steve's feet just fine. The swelling as reduced and his feet are only "partial boat sized" feet!!
The scrapbook fairy was identified to be Michelle Reber. Thank you Michelle for the scrapbook items, I can hardly wait to have the time to sit and scrapbook soon.
Thursday night at the ESD (Education Service District--where Steve works in Rsbg) had their monthly board meeting. Jon Hill, the Superintendent of the ESD, asked if Steve could be in attendance as the Board wanted to honor him for his service these past 16 years. Well, during the meeting, the Board and Jon honored Steve with his name being nominated for an award. If Steve should win, the Justus A. Prentice award--the final award will be given out in May in Bend. But the Board and Jon read a book full of accolades of Steve's service to Special Education and the children he has served over the many years. We were so lucky to have our good friend, Mike Rice, visiting from Boise. So he was able to come with us and be our photographer for this special event. Then we got a bunch of pictures of people hugging Steve and congratulating him. It was a very emotional evening, for a very deserving & wonderful man!!
We had hoped to attend Easter Services with the rest of our family today. However, the pain in Steve's hip is continuing to increase in severity. So he didn't sleep Saturday night due to the pain, and felt pretty puny Sunday morning. So we missed our first Easter service together in years. However we did get to visit with our families later in the day, as they stopped by for dessert and coffee late afternoon.
We are asking for prayer for tomorrow (Monday, March 24), as we travel to Portland for an appt. with Dr. Nichols. At this visit, we will hear first hand what the CT-Scan said and what his thoughts are regarding chemo or continued treatment. I am fearful (as we don't know if the chemo is as affective as we once had hoped.........we continue to pray for a miracle and really want to have God honored and praised with the healing of Steve!!) I hate to use the word "fearful"--but in my small human mind--I am scared. I see the pain that Steve is in and I see how he is shrinking in front of me!! He currently weighs 148 lbs. And his appetite is waning--and I try to feed him constantly!! I am trying to be optimistic and I'm trying to be brave--but it's so hard!! When the man I love is enduring all of this chemo and medicines, and pain pump and everything to try and beat this hideous disease. We covet your prayer so badly--as the enemy is constantly trying to make me afraid and doubt the Lord's abilities to heal!!
The Lord placed so many people and blessings in our paths this past week, and it was so encouraging to see people from our college days, our church friends, our neighbors, Steve's wonderful co-workers at the ESD and school districts, friends who have moved away from us and returned especially to visit with Steve and our wonderful family members. We can't journey down this hard road without all of you.
I received a wonderful gift from the class of 1967 The Dalles High School reunion committee. These wonderful folks thought of us and sent us a check to use for our expenses travelling back and forth to Portland. Several of them have battled cancer, or have loved ones battling cancer and came alongside of us in a very meaningful way. Thank you Sharon and Maja---what a thoughtful gift!! Thank you committee members--I hope that someday--someway I can pay it forward!!
Remember us tomorrow as we hear the news from Dr. Nichols and we're also going to the PERS folks to start Steve's Early Retirement process. Lynsey is going to help me
drive to Portland, so she can help with getting Steve in and out of the Blazer and into various wheelchairs. It'll help having two pairs of hands. As it will be a long and hard day in Portland.
Thank you for your continued prayers and we really feel each and other one of time.
Good night,
mj and Steve
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
A Lil some from Lynsey
Mother Teresa once said I can never understand all the good that a simple smile can accomplish. In times such as these, I think I can partially grasp what Mother Teresa was feeling. There are not enough words to express how thankful my family is. We have been so blessed by such a remarkable community who has risen to the daunting task of walking through this difficult time with us.
I would have liked to write something more enlightening or heartwarming for my blog debut however, all I really want to express is my thankfulness to everyone who has sent a note of encouragement, crossed something off of the infamous "list", came by for a visit and the countless other gifts of love we have received.
Thank you Thank you Thank you
As many of you are probably aware, my Father is still in the hospital at Mercy (room 303) and by now must have received the Mercy's version of the Guiness worldbook of visitors. Its a pleasant change for him, being in Roseburg vs being in Portland. In Portland, I always have to be so quiet, however Mercy is used to the loudness that the Smith clan brings. And also being in Roseburg he recieves many more visitors. C:
I would have liked to write something more enlightening or heartwarming for my blog debut however, all I really want to express is my thankfulness to everyone who has sent a note of encouragement, crossed something off of the infamous "list", came by for a visit and the countless other gifts of love we have received.
Thank you Thank you Thank you
As many of you are probably aware, my Father is still in the hospital at Mercy (room 303) and by now must have received the Mercy's version of the Guiness worldbook of visitors. Its a pleasant change for him, being in Roseburg vs being in Portland. In Portland, I always have to be so quiet, however Mercy is used to the loudness that the Smith clan brings. And also being in Roseburg he recieves many more visitors. C:
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Steve still in Mercy Hospital/Roseburg
Good evening,
It is late Sunday evening and I just returned from seeing Steve in the hospital. For those of you who don't know-- Steve went by ambulance on Friday to Mercy, where they found a couple of blood clots near his lung and after more tests found that he had several blood clots in the PICC line (which is the line that the chemo is administered!) and a blood clot was found in his leg.
So the situation is serious enough to keep him hospitalized until mid-week. We don't know much else. Dr. Ottenheimer, our local oncologist will return on Monday and he will lead the team to discuss how we'll proceed.
Steve's blood levels are getting better, but still lower than the average persons, so we need to get them higher. He looks good, has had alot of visitors, which he truly enjoys and his appetite is still good. So all in all, we are praising the Lord for bringing him out of this crisis!!
We have so much to be thankful for:
Many visitors to see Steve over the weekend:
Our SFC pastors, Ed Wilgus and Pastor Paul, Dan Reeves, and Sanford Hillman joined us at the hospital Thurday evening to pray and annoint Steve with oil before he went in for his CT-Scan.
Friends Tray & Sue Williams happened to join us during the prayer as well
Pastor Mark Bodenstab rushed to the ER to pray
with Steve after we arrived at the hospital Friday AM.
Steve's family were all in attendance over the weekend. What would we do without family!!
Amanda, Lynsey, & Faith were all with us.--the girls are such good medicine for Steve. And Faith is growing up so quickly, and is such a joy!!
Jim York, Rod & Sue Greene, Hugh & Marie Copeland, Judy Newman and her husband from Eugene,
all came to visit. (I've probably left out several folks--but my brain is fried, I'll rememeber your names in the middle of the night, I'm sure!)
While back at the ranch, MJ had her bathroom dimmer switch and caulking done by Eli & Michelle Medina Sunday afternoon. And the" good scrapbooking fairy" left a huge bag of scrapbooking supplies and albums for me, but left no name--so that I can properly thank you!!
We continue to be so blessed by our friends who continue to bestow us with good wishes and wonderful surprises!! We will never ever be able to repay you all the kindnesses you have given to us during this very difficult time.
We have received so many phone calls, and promises of future visits, which is so encouraging to Steve. And thank you to those who send us wishes via the blog site--I have printed each of them off to give to Steve, so he is totally in the loop!!
Steve can receive visitors at Mercy, but you might want to call first before heading over to Mercy to see if he is up for company. His phone is 677-3571 and he is in room 240--the PCA unit.
Good night and thanks again for loving us,
mj and Steve
It is late Sunday evening and I just returned from seeing Steve in the hospital. For those of you who don't know-- Steve went by ambulance on Friday to Mercy, where they found a couple of blood clots near his lung and after more tests found that he had several blood clots in the PICC line (which is the line that the chemo is administered!) and a blood clot was found in his leg.
So the situation is serious enough to keep him hospitalized until mid-week. We don't know much else. Dr. Ottenheimer, our local oncologist will return on Monday and he will lead the team to discuss how we'll proceed.
Steve's blood levels are getting better, but still lower than the average persons, so we need to get them higher. He looks good, has had alot of visitors, which he truly enjoys and his appetite is still good. So all in all, we are praising the Lord for bringing him out of this crisis!!
We have so much to be thankful for:
Many visitors to see Steve over the weekend:
Our SFC pastors, Ed Wilgus and Pastor Paul, Dan Reeves, and Sanford Hillman joined us at the hospital Thurday evening to pray and annoint Steve with oil before he went in for his CT-Scan.
Friends Tray & Sue Williams happened to join us during the prayer as well
Pastor Mark Bodenstab rushed to the ER to pray
with Steve after we arrived at the hospital Friday AM.
Steve's family were all in attendance over the weekend. What would we do without family!!
Amanda, Lynsey, & Faith were all with us.--the girls are such good medicine for Steve. And Faith is growing up so quickly, and is such a joy!!
Jim York, Rod & Sue Greene, Hugh & Marie Copeland, Judy Newman and her husband from Eugene,
all came to visit. (I've probably left out several folks--but my brain is fried, I'll rememeber your names in the middle of the night, I'm sure!)
While back at the ranch, MJ had her bathroom dimmer switch and caulking done by Eli & Michelle Medina Sunday afternoon. And the" good scrapbooking fairy" left a huge bag of scrapbooking supplies and albums for me, but left no name--so that I can properly thank you!!
We continue to be so blessed by our friends who continue to bestow us with good wishes and wonderful surprises!! We will never ever be able to repay you all the kindnesses you have given to us during this very difficult time.
We have received so many phone calls, and promises of future visits, which is so encouraging to Steve. And thank you to those who send us wishes via the blog site--I have printed each of them off to give to Steve, so he is totally in the loop!!
Steve can receive visitors at Mercy, but you might want to call first before heading over to Mercy to see if he is up for company. His phone is 677-3571 and he is in room 240--the PCA unit.
Good night and thanks again for loving us,
mj and Steve
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Steve's update for Friday, March 14, 2008
Yesterday AM- we took Steve by ambulance to Mercy Hospital/Roseburg-- as his breathing was labored and I was told that this weekend was a dangerous time for Steve with his white count levels so dangerously low. We were planning on leaving for the hospital to get 2 units of blood. We were all ready to leave when he started feeling so bad, that I made the decision to call 911.
While at the hospital they found he had 2-3 small blood clots. So after giving him the 2 units of blood we had previously orderd, they started the blood thinning shots to stop the blood clots. He had a CT-scan of his chest again to find out about blood clots, as only a blood test showed the possiblity of the blood clots.
He is in the PCA unit at Mercy--however, we are asking folks to limit their visits with Steve has he hasn't had much sleep since he left Providence almost a week ago. His edema is so severe that he is constanting peeing all the chemo/liquids out of his body. Then Mercy gave him lasix last night and he was up all night AGAIN peeing his brains out!!
I'm emotionally and physically exhausted--but feel the prayers and concern from everyone we come in contact. (Steve made me leave the hospital last night and made me go home and get some sleep--some things never change, he still tells me what to do!!)
Steve will probably remain in the hospital over the weekend, while they find out where the blood clots originated.
Steve had his CT-scan Thursday evening and only news he have received is that the lymph nodes in his abdomen have reduced in size because of the last chemo treatment--PTL!! But we don't know much else. Steve is getting weaker and I'm not sure that he could tolerate another round of chemo so soon. We had planned on taking some "family down time" to be at the Coast --as everyone is trying to find us a beach home during the busiest season of the year--Spring Break. But with his health, we may not need a beach home until the first week of April. It will all depend on what the doctors say about the blood clots, etc. & how Steve is feeling.
One of the nicest things about living in a small town, is that WE may not know what we are doing--but EVERYONE else does!
Point in fact: Thursday afternoon we had bad weather in the form of hard blowing rain. We had left Steve's wheelchair parked on the front porch. We were getting Steve dressed to go into town for his DR appt and CT-scan, when we heard foot steps on our porch. Knowing it wasn't December and it couldn't be Santa--I looked outside and saw Val (our adorable Public Works gal) moving Steve's wheelchair out of the rain!
I went outside to see what she was doing and she replied:
"We saw that Steve's wheelchair was getting soaked by the rain, so we thought we should move it!" They were driving by and saw this--isn't that incredible?
She had also attached an envelope to our front door with phone numbers of the public works staff to call when I needed help in getting Steve from the house into our car.
Isn't that just like the Lord to put the exact people in our paths at just the right time you need help? So a few minutes later 2 bulky guys & Val returned to help me get Steve out of the house in his wheelchair and into the Blazer so I wouldn't overwork my poor back!
God is so good!!. He isn't answering our prayers in the way we'd like to see them answered. But he hasn't deserted us either! We are surrounded by fantastic family and friends who are so willing to help Steve anyway possible and we are so overwhelmed by everyone's generosity to us. Thank you for being the loving arms of the Lord--sometimes the road ahead seems so bleak. But when I get my eyes off of the "what if"s" and on to the "right now's"--I see that the love of God is shown by everyone around us.
Thank you!
love,
mj & Steve
While at the hospital they found he had 2-3 small blood clots. So after giving him the 2 units of blood we had previously orderd, they started the blood thinning shots to stop the blood clots. He had a CT-scan of his chest again to find out about blood clots, as only a blood test showed the possiblity of the blood clots.
He is in the PCA unit at Mercy--however, we are asking folks to limit their visits with Steve has he hasn't had much sleep since he left Providence almost a week ago. His edema is so severe that he is constanting peeing all the chemo/liquids out of his body. Then Mercy gave him lasix last night and he was up all night AGAIN peeing his brains out!!
I'm emotionally and physically exhausted--but feel the prayers and concern from everyone we come in contact. (Steve made me leave the hospital last night and made me go home and get some sleep--some things never change, he still tells me what to do!!)
Steve will probably remain in the hospital over the weekend, while they find out where the blood clots originated.
Steve had his CT-scan Thursday evening and only news he have received is that the lymph nodes in his abdomen have reduced in size because of the last chemo treatment--PTL!! But we don't know much else. Steve is getting weaker and I'm not sure that he could tolerate another round of chemo so soon. We had planned on taking some "family down time" to be at the Coast --as everyone is trying to find us a beach home during the busiest season of the year--Spring Break. But with his health, we may not need a beach home until the first week of April. It will all depend on what the doctors say about the blood clots, etc. & how Steve is feeling.
One of the nicest things about living in a small town, is that WE may not know what we are doing--but EVERYONE else does!
Point in fact: Thursday afternoon we had bad weather in the form of hard blowing rain. We had left Steve's wheelchair parked on the front porch. We were getting Steve dressed to go into town for his DR appt and CT-scan, when we heard foot steps on our porch. Knowing it wasn't December and it couldn't be Santa--I looked outside and saw Val (our adorable Public Works gal) moving Steve's wheelchair out of the rain!
I went outside to see what she was doing and she replied:
"We saw that Steve's wheelchair was getting soaked by the rain, so we thought we should move it!" They were driving by and saw this--isn't that incredible?
She had also attached an envelope to our front door with phone numbers of the public works staff to call when I needed help in getting Steve from the house into our car.
Isn't that just like the Lord to put the exact people in our paths at just the right time you need help? So a few minutes later 2 bulky guys & Val returned to help me get Steve out of the house in his wheelchair and into the Blazer so I wouldn't overwork my poor back!
God is so good!!. He isn't answering our prayers in the way we'd like to see them answered. But he hasn't deserted us either! We are surrounded by fantastic family and friends who are so willing to help Steve anyway possible and we are so overwhelmed by everyone's generosity to us. Thank you for being the loving arms of the Lord--sometimes the road ahead seems so bleak. But when I get my eyes off of the "what if"s" and on to the "right now's"--I see that the love of God is shown by everyone around us.
Thank you!
love,
mj & Steve
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Mj's nit picky concerns::
Is there anyone in the Oakland/Sutherlin area who could put in a re-astat light swith in my bathroom? The new lights are great--just too Hollywood for me everyday. If I could get a reastat on the light switch, that would be perfect.
Also Steve is concerned that we may need more caulking around the shower area, so we don't get water underneath the new floor.
So if anyone could finish the caulk around the shower, that would be great as well.
thanks,
mj
Also Steve is concerned that we may need more caulking around the shower area, so we don't get water underneath the new floor.
So if anyone could finish the caulk around the shower, that would be great as well.
thanks,
mj
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
OMIGOSH--the bathroom is almost finished!!
Today has been a red letter day in the life of Project Smith. Micah & Patience Long arrived mid morning ready to start tearing out the old vanity, and toilet. This prepared the way for Charley Smith to fix the old floor and prepare it for the new vinyl. The vinyl looks like wooden planks and is way cool! It really makes the bathroom floor look old. Then Micah and Patience returned to install the new vanity and sink, plus they put up the new medicine cabinet. But not until Bob & Sue Adams had to make a Home Depot run and purchase another medicine cabinet, as the original one had a major defect!! Once they returned with the medicine cabinet, Micah and Bob installed it. Thanks again guys for all of your hard work and for taking your day off to help us out!!
So everything is installed and ready to go. Micah is planning on building me a new storage cabinet to slide in front of the hot water heater. Patience told me that I should have Lynsey take pictures and post them on the blog, so I'll try to do that. Thank you Patti Ann for babysitting the little ones while Micah and Patience finished putting everything together. It really looks nice--all shiny and new!!
Bob & Sue picked out the white vanity, sink and cabinets, in addition, they picked out the flooring and really did a great job. Thanks again and enjoy your vacation, as you relax for 2 weeks in California!!
In addition to the bathroom up and running, our pool was being spruced up by Preference Pools, thanks to Art Adams. The guy was practically at our pool all day digging out leaves from the winter months and adding chemicals to make it look sparkly clean! He even cleaned the tiles, our pool will be in shock of the treatment it is receiving. Thanks again Art, we really and truly appreciate you for doing this for us!!
A major prayer request::: Steve is having another CAT-Scan tomorrow (Thursday) at 6:00 p.m. at Mercy. This scan will let us know if we are winning or losing the cancer battle. A very scary time for both he and I.
I keep praying that the Lord will heal Steve and that they won't find any evidence of cancer in his body. This scan will also tell us whether treatment is helping or not. Please pray that whatever the scan shows--that the Lord will walk ahead of us and prepare us for the news!! That we can make wise decisions in handling what lies ahead of us. The Lord has been with us each step of the way and my prayer is that the Lord be especially close to us, as we face this news together and with our families!! I still pray for a Miracle!!
Steve is feeling pretty good, only weak from the long hospitalization. He is still one of the strongest men I know emotionally! We talk about everything, we laugh, we share our thoughts, and most importantly, we cry together about life's uncertainties!! It's funny, we should all look at life this way, because no one is assured of another day. Yet we all live like we have unlimited days ahead. The pure act of being so vulnerable with one another is almost cleansing in a way--we don't want our days to be filled with regrets!!
We are looking forward to him being stronger by Sunday and hopefully able to attend Palm Sunday services. We haven't been in church together for months and really hope that we can attend during the Easter season.
Thank the Lord for friends who come along side of us in praying for us, in friends who labor for us, for friends who have contributed financially to us during this very expensive time of travelling back and forth to Portland, and for friends who bring us meals. All of these very meaningful gifts are so joyfully received, as we know that God is in each act of giving!! Thank you can never be good enough, but unfortunately at this time, thanks is all we can say to you. And May God bless you richly for thinking of us during this very difficult time!!
mj and Steve
So everything is installed and ready to go. Micah is planning on building me a new storage cabinet to slide in front of the hot water heater. Patience told me that I should have Lynsey take pictures and post them on the blog, so I'll try to do that. Thank you Patti Ann for babysitting the little ones while Micah and Patience finished putting everything together. It really looks nice--all shiny and new!!
Bob & Sue picked out the white vanity, sink and cabinets, in addition, they picked out the flooring and really did a great job. Thanks again and enjoy your vacation, as you relax for 2 weeks in California!!
In addition to the bathroom up and running, our pool was being spruced up by Preference Pools, thanks to Art Adams. The guy was practically at our pool all day digging out leaves from the winter months and adding chemicals to make it look sparkly clean! He even cleaned the tiles, our pool will be in shock of the treatment it is receiving. Thanks again Art, we really and truly appreciate you for doing this for us!!
A major prayer request::: Steve is having another CAT-Scan tomorrow (Thursday) at 6:00 p.m. at Mercy. This scan will let us know if we are winning or losing the cancer battle. A very scary time for both he and I.
I keep praying that the Lord will heal Steve and that they won't find any evidence of cancer in his body. This scan will also tell us whether treatment is helping or not. Please pray that whatever the scan shows--that the Lord will walk ahead of us and prepare us for the news!! That we can make wise decisions in handling what lies ahead of us. The Lord has been with us each step of the way and my prayer is that the Lord be especially close to us, as we face this news together and with our families!! I still pray for a Miracle!!
Steve is feeling pretty good, only weak from the long hospitalization. He is still one of the strongest men I know emotionally! We talk about everything, we laugh, we share our thoughts, and most importantly, we cry together about life's uncertainties!! It's funny, we should all look at life this way, because no one is assured of another day. Yet we all live like we have unlimited days ahead. The pure act of being so vulnerable with one another is almost cleansing in a way--we don't want our days to be filled with regrets!!
We are looking forward to him being stronger by Sunday and hopefully able to attend Palm Sunday services. We haven't been in church together for months and really hope that we can attend during the Easter season.
Thank the Lord for friends who come along side of us in praying for us, in friends who labor for us, for friends who have contributed financially to us during this very expensive time of travelling back and forth to Portland, and for friends who bring us meals. All of these very meaningful gifts are so joyfully received, as we know that God is in each act of giving!! Thank you can never be good enough, but unfortunately at this time, thanks is all we can say to you. And May God bless you richly for thinking of us during this very difficult time!!
mj and Steve
Monday, March 10, 2008
Question: If you spend 13 days in a hospital--do you need to fill out a change of address card??
These past 13 days have been so long..........Poor Steve has memorized the dining room service menu and is completely disenchanted with eating. We were so excited to be released today, but the process took us hours. We had college friends visiting from Boise and they left around noon and probably beat us home!! True fact, as Lynsey would say!!
Steve is hooked up to his own portable pain pump. And the stupid thing proceeded to beep almost the entire way home. Every time Steve would move slightly, it would beep (as annoying as a baby, who won't stop crying!). The beeping stops the pain meds from flowing into Steve, so very serious, until the problem is solved.
We think we have the problem at least solved for the evening. Tomorrow someone from Mercy Home Health will come to our house and try to problem solve with us how to adjust his movements without stopping the flow of his pain meds.
The lymphoma has affected his ability to move his right leg. He has almost no control of movement. So that is very disturbing for Steve, because he was used to getting around with his walker, but his right leg is almost dead weight and he has to almost drag it around. And then you add the edema that is still in his legs from the large amounts of chemo and liquids, it makes it very difficult for him to get around.
Plus the Surgical staff lost his slippers. We purchased "boat sized slippers" for his large feet (size 11)due to the edema in his feet from the first round of chemo and he wore them into the surgical room to have the permanent epidural pain line inserted and the surgical staff never returned his supersized boat slippers. So he no longer has his standby "larger than life--almost shoe boxes" slippers. So we had to cut the backs off of his regular size slippers to try to give him something to wear home from the hospital.
The nursing staff told me "don't worry, just go out and buy Steve another pair of slippers". Have you ever tried to purchase slippers at any time other than Christmas? They aren't around in the stores except during the holiday time.
We were tired, we were angry, we wanted to go home, and he has nothing to wear on his "larger than life--needing boat sized slipper feet". We looked pretty pathetic........until the nurse took out her scissors and said "let's just cut up your regular slippers"
We made it home, beeping all the way and Steve trying to keep on his slippers which kept falling off his feet. We had to laugh, because if we couldn't laugh, we'd probably head for a nearby ditch.
Angels of mercy have been in our home cleaning, working on our bathroom, and we were so thrilled to see the ramp by the back door. That worked so well with getting Steve and his wheelchair into the house. Thank you Micah!!
Steve is still so overwhelmed with gratitude to everyone who has participated in working on our house while he's been in the hospital. He realizes that he can't do the repairs and the items that need to be done, so thank you to all of you for truly being angels of mercy to us. Thank you Micah for putting up the beadboard behind my stove and for doing the top coat of concrete by the back door. I know that you spent many hours at our house when you could have been doing something fun with your wife and children. Patti Ann surely raised a super son!!
Thank you Barb Moore for helping Patti Ann with the painting, it looks great!
Thank you Bob & Sue for buying the vanity, the vanity top, the medicine cabinet and the flooring, it really looks great. We can hardly wait to see it all put together.
And not living out of boxes!!
This has been a tough time at the hospital. Steve is getting more tired and with his leg causing him so much difficulty lifting it in and out of bed, we are realizing how much the lymphoma is affecting every aspect of his daily life.
We don't have another chemo date scheduled. Dr. Nichols wants Steve to get another CT-Scan and after he sees how the lymphoma has reacted to the latest round of chemo, we'll know whether we'll proceed with another round or we'll possibly do radiation on his hip/pelvic area.
We are still looking for a beach house over Easter vacation, if all goes well and Steve's health is good. We are being encouraged to have some quality family/friend time away from the grind of being in the hospital. Dr. Nichols and the social workers are all encouraging us that we need to be making memories during this time.
Of course trying to find a large beach house during Spring Break shouldn't be too difficult, right?? Ha!!
We are trusting that the Lord has that detail worked out, because we are so overwhelmed with trying to get through each day, I don't have the emotional energy to call up real estate companies looking for a beach home. Plus the cost scares me to death, to even think about. We truly wanted to be able to go to the beach and have family members drop by as they are able to spend some time with Steve in a relaxed setting.
We were so blessed by having our good friends, Jay Rais and Ellis Walker, (old (not that old!)college friends from Boise), spend some time with us. It was so fun to reminense and laugh about the good "old days" and realize that even though the years have separated us, we still have the same connection and love, that bound us together in the 70's. Lynsey got a kick out of hearing some of the old stories, that have only improved with each telling!!
As you can tell, we are pretty exhausted. But I wanted to let all of you know that we have returned home. And it sure feels good..........we missed seeing Faith and all the new tricks she's learning and how many more ways she's getting into things. Poor Amanda, nothing deters Faith and she sure keeps Amanda hopping!! Faith will turn 1 on March 25!! Hard to believe!!
good night and God bless,
mj
Steve is hooked up to his own portable pain pump. And the stupid thing proceeded to beep almost the entire way home. Every time Steve would move slightly, it would beep (as annoying as a baby, who won't stop crying!). The beeping stops the pain meds from flowing into Steve, so very serious, until the problem is solved.
We think we have the problem at least solved for the evening. Tomorrow someone from Mercy Home Health will come to our house and try to problem solve with us how to adjust his movements without stopping the flow of his pain meds.
The lymphoma has affected his ability to move his right leg. He has almost no control of movement. So that is very disturbing for Steve, because he was used to getting around with his walker, but his right leg is almost dead weight and he has to almost drag it around. And then you add the edema that is still in his legs from the large amounts of chemo and liquids, it makes it very difficult for him to get around.
Plus the Surgical staff lost his slippers. We purchased "boat sized slippers" for his large feet (size 11)due to the edema in his feet from the first round of chemo and he wore them into the surgical room to have the permanent epidural pain line inserted and the surgical staff never returned his supersized boat slippers. So he no longer has his standby "larger than life--almost shoe boxes" slippers. So we had to cut the backs off of his regular size slippers to try to give him something to wear home from the hospital.
The nursing staff told me "don't worry, just go out and buy Steve another pair of slippers". Have you ever tried to purchase slippers at any time other than Christmas? They aren't around in the stores except during the holiday time.
We were tired, we were angry, we wanted to go home, and he has nothing to wear on his "larger than life--needing boat sized slipper feet". We looked pretty pathetic........until the nurse took out her scissors and said "let's just cut up your regular slippers"
We made it home, beeping all the way and Steve trying to keep on his slippers which kept falling off his feet. We had to laugh, because if we couldn't laugh, we'd probably head for a nearby ditch.
Angels of mercy have been in our home cleaning, working on our bathroom, and we were so thrilled to see the ramp by the back door. That worked so well with getting Steve and his wheelchair into the house. Thank you Micah!!
Steve is still so overwhelmed with gratitude to everyone who has participated in working on our house while he's been in the hospital. He realizes that he can't do the repairs and the items that need to be done, so thank you to all of you for truly being angels of mercy to us. Thank you Micah for putting up the beadboard behind my stove and for doing the top coat of concrete by the back door. I know that you spent many hours at our house when you could have been doing something fun with your wife and children. Patti Ann surely raised a super son!!
Thank you Barb Moore for helping Patti Ann with the painting, it looks great!
Thank you Bob & Sue for buying the vanity, the vanity top, the medicine cabinet and the flooring, it really looks great. We can hardly wait to see it all put together.
And not living out of boxes!!
This has been a tough time at the hospital. Steve is getting more tired and with his leg causing him so much difficulty lifting it in and out of bed, we are realizing how much the lymphoma is affecting every aspect of his daily life.
We don't have another chemo date scheduled. Dr. Nichols wants Steve to get another CT-Scan and after he sees how the lymphoma has reacted to the latest round of chemo, we'll know whether we'll proceed with another round or we'll possibly do radiation on his hip/pelvic area.
We are still looking for a beach house over Easter vacation, if all goes well and Steve's health is good. We are being encouraged to have some quality family/friend time away from the grind of being in the hospital. Dr. Nichols and the social workers are all encouraging us that we need to be making memories during this time.
Of course trying to find a large beach house during Spring Break shouldn't be too difficult, right?? Ha!!
We are trusting that the Lord has that detail worked out, because we are so overwhelmed with trying to get through each day, I don't have the emotional energy to call up real estate companies looking for a beach home. Plus the cost scares me to death, to even think about. We truly wanted to be able to go to the beach and have family members drop by as they are able to spend some time with Steve in a relaxed setting.
We were so blessed by having our good friends, Jay Rais and Ellis Walker, (old (not that old!)college friends from Boise), spend some time with us. It was so fun to reminense and laugh about the good "old days" and realize that even though the years have separated us, we still have the same connection and love, that bound us together in the 70's. Lynsey got a kick out of hearing some of the old stories, that have only improved with each telling!!
As you can tell, we are pretty exhausted. But I wanted to let all of you know that we have returned home. And it sure feels good..........we missed seeing Faith and all the new tricks she's learning and how many more ways she's getting into things. Poor Amanda, nothing deters Faith and she sure keeps Amanda hopping!! Faith will turn 1 on March 25!! Hard to believe!!
good night and God bless,
mj
Small Plumbing Job
Here's an update to the bathroom remodel. The painting is coming along nicely and should be finished soon. The floor is getting it's last leveling on Wednesday morning and the new flooring will be installed probably on that day also. The vanity, vanity top, and medicine cabinet will be installed on Wednesday also. We do need someone that could hook up the plumbing for the sink. Please call MaryJo and let her know if you could do that. Bob and I want to say thanks so much to everyone who has helped with this phase of the project. Also, the walkway has a new topcoat to it so it is level and a small portable ramp was added by the back door for ease in getting in and out.
Good job!
Good job!
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Corrections to the "List"
Lynsey arrived home late Tuesday evening. She brought her laptop to Steve's room so Steve could see the blog site. In reading over the postings I had made he said, "Mary Jo, we don't need a new slide for our pool--we need a diving board." I said, "I know that"--so he replied, "why does it say slide, then?"---
The answer is: I'm on mental overload and have No Idea why it says slide, rather than diving board. So let's replay my request:
**We would like to find a used diving board for our pool in good condition, as ours is in need of being replaced. To go through a pool supply company, the expense will be great. So we are just putting the request to see if anyone knows of someone who might have a diving board not needed. You just never know............
**Secondly, one more request that Steve is asking help is: We have some uneven concrete by our back door. And a thin coat of Top Coat to cover the concrete, would greatly be appreciated. The uneven concrete will make it difficult to push the wheelchair in and out of the house. I will gladly supply or reimburse the cost of the Top Coat, if someone would apply it.
***Thirdly, Bob & Sue Adams have primed and painted the walls of our bathroom. However, we need someone to paint the trim and door in the bathroom. If someone is able to do that please let me know or contact Bob & Sue Adams. Their phone numbers are: Sue, 643-0626 and Bog, 430-0228.
*** We have beadboard that needs to be fitted behind my stove. We still need someone to paint it, before it gets cut and placed behind stove. Ken Jameson has offered to it, but he lives in Eugene. If someone closer would like to take on that project, please let me know.
I will be home today (Thursday)--I have appts in Rsbg and will leave for the hospital Friday morning. So I can be reached by my cell phone 580-2058.
Steve is so overwhelmed by everyone's generosity and kindnesses. He is really having a hard time handling the emotional overload. I keep telling him, "Honey, so many people love you and you are truly a wonderful man and people just want to help carry our load" He keeps saying, "But I can never repay them" and I tell him that people don't expect to be repaid. That they are blessed by being able to help a very kind and generous man. So our thanks go out to all of you over and over for being such a blessing to us.
Tonight Steve will get his permanent epidural for pain management. This procedure has a nice long name, which I promptly forgotten. I am so impressed with Dr. McClusky that I am going to consult with him about my back after we get Steve healthy. Which is my prayer constantly!!
mj
The answer is: I'm on mental overload and have No Idea why it says slide, rather than diving board. So let's replay my request:
**We would like to find a used diving board for our pool in good condition, as ours is in need of being replaced. To go through a pool supply company, the expense will be great. So we are just putting the request to see if anyone knows of someone who might have a diving board not needed. You just never know............
**Secondly, one more request that Steve is asking help is: We have some uneven concrete by our back door. And a thin coat of Top Coat to cover the concrete, would greatly be appreciated. The uneven concrete will make it difficult to push the wheelchair in and out of the house. I will gladly supply or reimburse the cost of the Top Coat, if someone would apply it.
***Thirdly, Bob & Sue Adams have primed and painted the walls of our bathroom. However, we need someone to paint the trim and door in the bathroom. If someone is able to do that please let me know or contact Bob & Sue Adams. Their phone numbers are: Sue, 643-0626 and Bog, 430-0228.
*** We have beadboard that needs to be fitted behind my stove. We still need someone to paint it, before it gets cut and placed behind stove. Ken Jameson has offered to it, but he lives in Eugene. If someone closer would like to take on that project, please let me know.
I will be home today (Thursday)--I have appts in Rsbg and will leave for the hospital Friday morning. So I can be reached by my cell phone 580-2058.
Steve is so overwhelmed by everyone's generosity and kindnesses. He is really having a hard time handling the emotional overload. I keep telling him, "Honey, so many people love you and you are truly a wonderful man and people just want to help carry our load" He keeps saying, "But I can never repay them" and I tell him that people don't expect to be repaid. That they are blessed by being able to help a very kind and generous man. So our thanks go out to all of you over and over for being such a blessing to us.
Tonight Steve will get his permanent epidural for pain management. This procedure has a nice long name, which I promptly forgotten. I am so impressed with Dr. McClusky that I am going to consult with him about my back after we get Steve healthy. Which is my prayer constantly!!
mj
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Project Smith bathroom continued
As all of you are aware we had a wonderful crew do the partial remodel of our bathroom. Tearing out the old shower, installing a new one that handicap accessible for Steve. They spent considerable time tearing out all the old lumber in the walls, and floor. They put the floor back down but it is uneven, as we felt that the next plumber would need access to crawl under that floor to try to lay the new pipes we need. In speaking with Darren he reassured Steve that he could get to the pipes without needing the go through the floor in the bathrrom.
You may have read from Bob & Sue Adams blog--they are assisting us in finishing the project. They have spent hours looking for a new vanity, new cabinets to hang, finished putting the primer on all the walls, and want to lay new vinyl on the floor.
This is where we need someone's help who could come in and make the floor level, so that Bob & Sue can lay the vinyl.
If you will read on the blog--Sue and Bob gave their cell phone numbers.
Steve and I so appreciate everyone's help on Project Smith bathroom and we pray that Lord lays this project on someone's heart.
Thanks,
mj
You may have read from Bob & Sue Adams blog--they are assisting us in finishing the project. They have spent hours looking for a new vanity, new cabinets to hang, finished putting the primer on all the walls, and want to lay new vinyl on the floor.
This is where we need someone's help who could come in and make the floor level, so that Bob & Sue can lay the vinyl.
If you will read on the blog--Sue and Bob gave their cell phone numbers.
Steve and I so appreciate everyone's help on Project Smith bathroom and we pray that Lord lays this project on someone's heart.
Thanks,
mj
Monday, March 3, 2008
Count Your Blessings--Name them One by One.........
What a day for blessings this has been. When things have looked a little bleak--God has delivered lots of big and small blessings our way.
Thank you to Art & Shirley Adams for taking on the pool cleaning--they made this wonderful offer several days ago and I haven't had an opportunity to let everyone know so we can cross it off our "list"
Thank you to Barb & Andy Moore for taking away all the old lumber and pipes to the dump. One more item checked off the "list"
Thank you to Jay & Cheryl Northam for finishing the concrete work by our driveway. Thanks to Cheryl for fixing all of my broken jewelry. Ditto another checked off the "list"
Thanks to Rita Snyder, my sister Debbie, and the gang at the ESD for making the upcoming Blood Drive a great success---that they've added units--Thanks for giving the gift of life sustaining blood to others!!
Thanks to Kathy Ray for delivering the most wonderful basket to our room today. We loved the delivery girl--Kylie Ray!!
Sanford Hillman dropped by to visit with Steve. He was in town with his father. Steve really enjoyed having him stop by.
We had a surprise vistor: Sara Beth Henderson came to the hospital to give Steve her dad's get well wishes. Don Henderson is finishing up his Master's at Northwest Nazarene University. Sara brought her precious daughters with her.
Thanks to Victoria for speaking to Edge Wireless and getting me a better plan for my cell service. And thanks to Donna Estrada!
Thanks to good friends from college, Jay Rais and Ellis Walker for planning to drive to Portland this weekend from Boise. That will be a big emotional boost to Steve.
Lynsey is so worried about her dad's condition, that she is driving home earlier. And thank you to Pastor Mark and Doris Bodenstab for offering to bring some of her stuff back home. They will be in Nampa for a Board of Trustee's meeting and the dates are wonderfully overlapping--is that coincidence??-or is it truly God's way of saying, "I'm in the details of your life, child."
Spent one full hour crying with dear friend, Linda Pierce, in Rockford, Illinois.
Having wonderful girlfriends, is one of life's special gifts..........everyone needs at least a dozen!! I am so blessed by having so many women who pray for me, cry with me, laugh with me, walk with me, do stupid stuff with me, and yet still love me in spite of it all. Plus they all know how very much I love Steve, and tonight they are ALL holding their husbands a little tighter!!
Oh, to be able to repeat the stupid fights, the unkind words. We always think we have All the Time in the World..........and then this happens.
mj
Thank you to Art & Shirley Adams for taking on the pool cleaning--they made this wonderful offer several days ago and I haven't had an opportunity to let everyone know so we can cross it off our "list"
Thank you to Barb & Andy Moore for taking away all the old lumber and pipes to the dump. One more item checked off the "list"
Thank you to Jay & Cheryl Northam for finishing the concrete work by our driveway. Thanks to Cheryl for fixing all of my broken jewelry. Ditto another checked off the "list"
Thanks to Rita Snyder, my sister Debbie, and the gang at the ESD for making the upcoming Blood Drive a great success---that they've added units--Thanks for giving the gift of life sustaining blood to others!!
Thanks to Kathy Ray for delivering the most wonderful basket to our room today. We loved the delivery girl--Kylie Ray!!
Sanford Hillman dropped by to visit with Steve. He was in town with his father. Steve really enjoyed having him stop by.
We had a surprise vistor: Sara Beth Henderson came to the hospital to give Steve her dad's get well wishes. Don Henderson is finishing up his Master's at Northwest Nazarene University. Sara brought her precious daughters with her.
Thanks to Victoria for speaking to Edge Wireless and getting me a better plan for my cell service. And thanks to Donna Estrada!
Thanks to good friends from college, Jay Rais and Ellis Walker for planning to drive to Portland this weekend from Boise. That will be a big emotional boost to Steve.
Lynsey is so worried about her dad's condition, that she is driving home earlier. And thank you to Pastor Mark and Doris Bodenstab for offering to bring some of her stuff back home. They will be in Nampa for a Board of Trustee's meeting and the dates are wonderfully overlapping--is that coincidence??-or is it truly God's way of saying, "I'm in the details of your life, child."
Spent one full hour crying with dear friend, Linda Pierce, in Rockford, Illinois.
Having wonderful girlfriends, is one of life's special gifts..........everyone needs at least a dozen!! I am so blessed by having so many women who pray for me, cry with me, laugh with me, walk with me, do stupid stuff with me, and yet still love me in spite of it all. Plus they all know how very much I love Steve, and tonight they are ALL holding their husbands a little tighter!!
Oh, to be able to repeat the stupid fights, the unkind words. We always think we have All the Time in the World..........and then this happens.
mj
We Need Help with Carpentry
Bob and I are ready to do some work on the bathroom floor, but we need a carpenter to level the floor to make it ready for the final flooring. I'm sure there must be someone who specializes in that area. We would like it down ASAP so Steve and MaryJo can have a nice floor to walk on. Sue's # 643-0626 Bob's #430-0228 Thanks so much!
Asking for a Miracle
Steve's doctors are very concerned about the amount of pain Steve might endure due to the lymphoma bearing down on his pelvic & hip bones, so they want to have everything in place if that should happen. So this afternoon at 5:00 pm., Steve will have an insert of temporary spinal epidural to be able to administer pain meds currently to the site when he needs them. After this round of chemo, they will insert a permanent spinal port where he will carry his pain meds around in a fanny pack and can administer the meds as he needs them.
Dr. McClusky, the pain specialist is a very kind, gentle man. I believe he may be a Christian, also. He is very supportive and wants to answer all our questions and be our guide 24/7 through these murky waters. He is very concerned about our living so many hours away from Providence hospital and wants to get a very detailed outline of providing home health nurses in our area before we even leave for home.
We know that God is in control, but we are praying for a Miracle and still covet all of your prayers.
Chemo is going OK--Steve's edema is starting to make his legs and feet really swollen, so it is very difficult for him to get up. We have him barricaded with pillows in his bed, trying to take the pressure off his hip, and elevating his legs. It's quite a process.
fyi: for those of you in the Oakland/Sutherlin area, we will be needing extra pillows for Steve's bed. If you have any extra in your home, could we borrow some?
If you'd mark your name on them, I'd return them to you. Right now at last count we have over a dozen surrounding Steve. We thought we could use the egg crate foam mat, put that hasn't worked for us.
Will speak with the cancer counsellor today, as I am running out of steam, and need some guidance.
Lynsey will be driving home over the weekend. Her last day at NNU was last Friday, as she is withdrawing from school to be with us. Please pray for driving mercies as her friends caravan with her to help bring her stuff home (she's my daughter, she has alot of stuff!!)
Please pray for Amanda, Steve & Faith, as they are anticipating Faith's 1st birthday later in the month. This is a very difficult time for them, wanting to celebrate and realizing how seriously ill Faith's grandpa is.
Thank you to Kathy & Darryl Ray for volunteering to haul off our old lumber and pipes for us. We are so appreciative of our great supportive friends.
mj
Dr. McClusky, the pain specialist is a very kind, gentle man. I believe he may be a Christian, also. He is very supportive and wants to answer all our questions and be our guide 24/7 through these murky waters. He is very concerned about our living so many hours away from Providence hospital and wants to get a very detailed outline of providing home health nurses in our area before we even leave for home.
We know that God is in control, but we are praying for a Miracle and still covet all of your prayers.
Chemo is going OK--Steve's edema is starting to make his legs and feet really swollen, so it is very difficult for him to get up. We have him barricaded with pillows in his bed, trying to take the pressure off his hip, and elevating his legs. It's quite a process.
fyi: for those of you in the Oakland/Sutherlin area, we will be needing extra pillows for Steve's bed. If you have any extra in your home, could we borrow some?
If you'd mark your name on them, I'd return them to you. Right now at last count we have over a dozen surrounding Steve. We thought we could use the egg crate foam mat, put that hasn't worked for us.
Will speak with the cancer counsellor today, as I am running out of steam, and need some guidance.
Lynsey will be driving home over the weekend. Her last day at NNU was last Friday, as she is withdrawing from school to be with us. Please pray for driving mercies as her friends caravan with her to help bring her stuff home (she's my daughter, she has alot of stuff!!)
Please pray for Amanda, Steve & Faith, as they are anticipating Faith's 1st birthday later in the month. This is a very difficult time for them, wanting to celebrate and realizing how seriously ill Faith's grandpa is.
Thank you to Kathy & Darryl Ray for volunteering to haul off our old lumber and pipes for us. We are so appreciative of our great supportive friends.
mj
Sunday, March 2, 2008
Steve's List for MJ and home -try #2
Mj wrote a detailed & emotional listing for the blog site and apparently only the heading was saved.
So here is a short snyoposis of the list that Steve needs for Mj and his home:
1)Beadboard needs to be put up behind the stove in the kitchen. There is beadboard in the garage, which will need to be painted and attached to the wall behind the stove.
2) Steve is concerned about the pool slide needing to be replaced. He thinks it is beyond repair. If someone knows of someone selling a pool slide, or how to obtain a slide at a reasonable price, please let us know. We priced them at our pool store and the cost is prohibitive to us at this point.
3)We have contracted with a plumber to help find the pipe under the house and get it re-reouted; but he may need to have some concrete cut by the pool to gain access to the pipe he'll connect.
4)Does someone have access to a beach home? The social worker and Dr. Nichols all emphasized that he need to take full advantage of Every day Steve feels good and would like to leave the house. We want to make as many memories as possible.
"It's not the number of breaths a person takes in his life. It's the number of moments that take your breath away"--and we want to achieve that!
We are making preparations in hopes that we'll NEVER need them. The social worker told us to make plans, place them in a manila envelope in a drawer and then years later discover them and say, "Can you believe that it's been ____years and we've NEVER needed them!!" We are holding to that promise, that we'll NEVER need them.
Steve is very positive and is more concerned about Mj and his girls, than himself. And we don't want him to be overwhelmed with the many details it takes to run a household. We want to keep him un-burdened by the many needs of an old house. We want all his strength to go toward fighting this cancer and not fighting the emotional stress of worrying how things are going to get done at our home.
We thank so many of you for providing items on "our list"--such as yard work, Project Smith in remodeling our bathroom, meals, wonderful supportive cards, emails and visits. making a ramp by the driveway for Steve to use his wheelchair/walker to get to our cars, hauling trash, supplies (protein bars, Dasani water, cookies, receipes), financial gifts, gas cards, phone cards. The list goes on and on..........we thank you from the depths of our hearts!!
Thank you Bob and Sue Adams for continuing helping Mj with the wallpaper & painting of our bathroom. Thank you also Patti for assisting them. Thank you Ken and Deana for picking up mattress for our bedroom.
We appreciate everyone prayers and we covet them more than ever. The Lord knows how many hairs we have on our head, and knows our days are numbered, as well. My prayer is that the Lord has lots of days left for Steve to be with our family!!!
much affection and thankfulness,
mj and Steve
So here is a short snyoposis of the list that Steve needs for Mj and his home:
1)Beadboard needs to be put up behind the stove in the kitchen. There is beadboard in the garage, which will need to be painted and attached to the wall behind the stove.
2) Steve is concerned about the pool slide needing to be replaced. He thinks it is beyond repair. If someone knows of someone selling a pool slide, or how to obtain a slide at a reasonable price, please let us know. We priced them at our pool store and the cost is prohibitive to us at this point.
3)We have contracted with a plumber to help find the pipe under the house and get it re-reouted; but he may need to have some concrete cut by the pool to gain access to the pipe he'll connect.
4)Does someone have access to a beach home? The social worker and Dr. Nichols all emphasized that he need to take full advantage of Every day Steve feels good and would like to leave the house. We want to make as many memories as possible.
"It's not the number of breaths a person takes in his life. It's the number of moments that take your breath away"--and we want to achieve that!
We are making preparations in hopes that we'll NEVER need them. The social worker told us to make plans, place them in a manila envelope in a drawer and then years later discover them and say, "Can you believe that it's been ____years and we've NEVER needed them!!" We are holding to that promise, that we'll NEVER need them.
Steve is very positive and is more concerned about Mj and his girls, than himself. And we don't want him to be overwhelmed with the many details it takes to run a household. We want to keep him un-burdened by the many needs of an old house. We want all his strength to go toward fighting this cancer and not fighting the emotional stress of worrying how things are going to get done at our home.
We thank so many of you for providing items on "our list"--such as yard work, Project Smith in remodeling our bathroom, meals, wonderful supportive cards, emails and visits. making a ramp by the driveway for Steve to use his wheelchair/walker to get to our cars, hauling trash, supplies (protein bars, Dasani water, cookies, receipes), financial gifts, gas cards, phone cards. The list goes on and on..........we thank you from the depths of our hearts!!
Thank you Bob and Sue Adams for continuing helping Mj with the wallpaper & painting of our bathroom. Thank you also Patti for assisting them. Thank you Ken and Deana for picking up mattress for our bedroom.
We appreciate everyone prayers and we covet them more than ever. The Lord knows how many hairs we have on our head, and knows our days are numbered, as well. My prayer is that the Lord has lots of days left for Steve to be with our family!!!
much affection and thankfulness,
mj and Steve
Saturday, March 1, 2008
Pray for a Miracle for Steve
Saturday, March 1, 2008
Today Dr. Nichols will meet with all of Steve's family and my sister, Debbie in Steve's room at Provindence Hospital to discuss with everyone the progression of Steve's lymphoma. The Dr had told us earlier on Thursday that Steve's lymphoma is spreading through his body faster than the cancer can kill it. So unless the Lord
makes a Miracle happen, we may not win this battle over cancer.
They will continue doing chemo and radiation as the lymphoma has spread in masses toward his hip and pelvic bone, causing a fracture, which is causing Steve alot of pain. Yesterday (Friday)he was in a "pain crisis" where they couldn't get enough pain medication to him to give him relief. Finally they gave him fentanyl and that seems to do it. So last night he slept for the first time in 3 days.
Due to the extreme amounts of pain mediation, he was hallucinating and that scared me, until the nurses reassured me that it was caused by the extreme amounts of opiods he was given.
The Dr wants to reassure us that they will do everything to make Steve symptom-free meaning they will give him lots of pain meds to give him relief, but that they can't give him enough chemo to kill the aggressive lymphoma.
This is going to be a very difficult meeting for all the family to hear. And no one wants to think about losing him.
We so appreciate everyone's prayers and support during this very difficult time for all of us.
mj
Today Dr. Nichols will meet with all of Steve's family and my sister, Debbie in Steve's room at Provindence Hospital to discuss with everyone the progression of Steve's lymphoma. The Dr had told us earlier on Thursday that Steve's lymphoma is spreading through his body faster than the cancer can kill it. So unless the Lord
makes a Miracle happen, we may not win this battle over cancer.
They will continue doing chemo and radiation as the lymphoma has spread in masses toward his hip and pelvic bone, causing a fracture, which is causing Steve alot of pain. Yesterday (Friday)he was in a "pain crisis" where they couldn't get enough pain medication to him to give him relief. Finally they gave him fentanyl and that seems to do it. So last night he slept for the first time in 3 days.
Due to the extreme amounts of pain mediation, he was hallucinating and that scared me, until the nurses reassured me that it was caused by the extreme amounts of opiods he was given.
The Dr wants to reassure us that they will do everything to make Steve symptom-free meaning they will give him lots of pain meds to give him relief, but that they can't give him enough chemo to kill the aggressive lymphoma.
This is going to be a very difficult meeting for all the family to hear. And no one wants to think about losing him.
We so appreciate everyone's prayers and support during this very difficult time for all of us.
mj
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